What’s Your Why?

A common question I ask my patients is, "What are your goals?" What do they hope to improve by participating in therapy? Essentially, I’m asking, "What is your why?"

Many people will say, “To get home.” In fact, that’s a frequent response. Interestingly, some are already home, which makes the answers even more intriguing. As we delve deeper in later sessions, the real reasons often emerge.

These "whys" or goals vary greatly. For some, it’s about being able to walk their dog again, living independently, or tending to their garden. The patients who engage most actively in therapy have a clear why. It doesn’t have to be a noble or grand reason—just their own personal why. Over the years, my favorite goals have often centered around faith and family: “I want to get back to church, but the walk from the curb to the door is an incline.” “I want to dance at my granddaughter's wedding.” “I need to be able to sit in the car for four hours to attend my brother's funeral.”

Do we have a why? Not a lofty or righteous one, but just a simple why? Something that motivates us to keep going, to keep writing, to keep exercising? It seems that having a why makes life a little easier on those painful days.